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Marriage and Missions: Choosing A Helpmate Fit For The Mission Field (Z.T. Fomum)

Another very important issue that the missionary-to-be ought to consider before he goes to the mission field is this whole matter of choosing a girl for wife. Some people are disqualified from the mission field because of the type of girl to whom they got married. The moment a man chooses a woman, he has either set God’s eternal purposes aflame or he has buried them. Those who choose girls that will not even feature on God’s backbench, have given up the mission field.

Any woman accompanying a man to the mission field should be prepared to be his Number 2. The thought that his wife will be his Number 2 woman may replace him and continue the work if the Lord were to call him home should preoccupy a missionary-to-be at the time he is looking for the girl with whom to go to the mission field. It is with these thoughts that a young man should go to ask a girl to go with him to the mission field. He should know that the girl with whom he goes to the mission field, is going to be the national leader of women’s spiritual affairs and activities. While she is there, people will come from all over to seek counsel from her. Woe betides him if he married her only for her beauty. The woman herself must qualify to be a missionary.

The following questions may be asked of her:

  1. What is her leadership capacity?
  2. In what battles has she led others?
  3. What is her fighting index?
  4. What is her resistance level?
  5. Can she lead a nation?

Unless a would-be lady missionary answers favourably to these questions, she is not qualified to go with a young man to the mission field. If she does, she will meet with failure. Nevertheless, a woman should marry a man because he is to her the only man on Planet Earth. It must not only be because of the mission field. If it were to be only because of the mission field, many scandals will be recorded on the mission field, which ipso facto, will spoil the mission.

Also, those who are going out are required to show proof of their financial reliability. Such missionaries are not being asked to close their accounts. They ought only to give God the money, and then go. Let them keep the accounts, but give God the money! The would-be missionary should also be someone that is radically accountable. Lack of accountability is self destruction. If people cannot be disciplined and accountable while still at home, it will be suicidal to send them to the mission field.

Added to accountability, is the need for extremist warriors who get close to pouring out the last ounce of blood they have in their veins. No one should be sent out who is a mediocre. Extremist warriors at the frontline are those who face the devil. These are those who have a place on the mission field. These are those who have a place in world conquest. The rest have no place neither in World Conquest nor on the mission field.

All missionaries-to-be are expected to show proof of the fact that they can work and earn money. They must have good jobs. They must have a considerable income to show that they are not going to the mission field as a form of employment. If a man is sent to the mission field who is not employed, he may likely fail because joblessness is a spirit. We insist that those who are going leave behind costly employments. Going to the mission field should be a costly affair. It should be some- thing that is birthed from history with God.

In what concerns the female missionary, she shall not go out neither as a missionary wife nor as a missionary if she has not qualified to be a deaconess in the home church, in our case the local church in Yaounde. The wife of a missionary shall be a sister who has either led a house assembly or is capable of doing so. It goes for everybody, that none shall go out who has not been at least a deacon at home. To be a deacon at home, one must have actually had the experience of leading a house church that worked. This means that if a missionary-to-be goes and marries a duck, even if he is an eagle, it will be difficult for him to go. The duck will keep him here. After all, if an eagle marries a duck, it will be obliged to spend much of its time here on earth with the duck rather than flying as is the manner of all eagles.

Anyone who goes out to the mission field without carrying out restitution in all wanting fields, is a curse to the people to whom he goes to minister. Therefore, no one should think of going to the mission field if he has not carried out every known restitution at home. Since every missionary is supposed to be a blessing wherever he goes, no one should think of going against God’s Word.

The would-be missionary must know what marriage really is, what it should be and what it was meant to be, before setting out to look for a partner. We have, in detail, developed what we are about to say in our books, Enjoying the Choice of Your Life Partner and Divorce and Remarriage. The reader is advised to get these books and read them. Any would-be missionary or anybody who is intending to get married, should read each of these books not less than five times.

As a premise, it should be noted that divorce courts are the devil’s workshop. They are planned in hell and all those who have been there have had an affair with Satan. God has never been there. God has never ordained their existence. God said, “I hate divorce.” Those who pass by divorce are those God should hate. But He hates

none; He only pities those who err by being stubborn. Martin Luther said that if a believer divorces, he has renounced the faith and is only waiting for God’s judgement because he decided to joke with the most sacred institution of God. I do not know for how long Satan planned this thing called divorce. A believer who divorces is saying that the Lord Jesus will one day divorce the Church. Remember the marriage feast of the Lamb in which the Church will be the Bride and the Lord Jesus the Bridegroom. Jesus is married to the Church forever.

Excerpt from: A Missionary Life and a Missionary Heart – Z.T. Fomum

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