I was a regional manager in a town of our nation, Garoua. In this capacity I was in charge of the funds in our service. I was a child of God and the Lord had sustained me all along, such that I had a good testimony among my neighbours.
I was a regional manager in a town of our nation, Garoua. In this capacity I was in charge of the funds in our service. I was a child of God and the Lord had sustained me all along, such that I had a good testimony among my neighbours.
However, situations arose where-by my covetousness became manifest in all its forms such that I no longer bothered about using office equipment for personal ends.
One day I was transferred after being promoted. One of the workers in charge of financial matters came and drew my attention to a certain problem. One of the articles we had ordered some months earlier, had not been delivered, and a similar amount of money was available for us to order something equivalent. That is when my heart could not resist temptation. Instead of placing an order for service equipment, I made one for my personal use. My conscience reacted instantly against it, but I hardened my heart. After I took my new duties, what I had done kept troubling me. As the word of God was preached very powerfully at a meeting, I was convicted of sin. Not knowing what to do, I spoke to a brother who gave me a piece of advice. I collected the money corresponding to the price of the articles I had taken and went to a financial service to expose what I had done. There, the reimbursement I wanted to make, was accepted. It was then that my heart was liberated.
But I also had to confess this sin to my boss. I made him to know that despite the high opinion he had of me, I could also be involved in a case of fraud as the one I was confessing to him. He listened attentively and told me that everything was settled, but that in the future, I should not take such a big risk for such a small sum of money. However, he did not reject me.
When I left his office, I could once more look up to the sky and at the horizon. I could not understand how far my heart could have strayed away from the Lord. I humbly came back to God, regretting with all my heart and feeling miserable because of what I had done, thus breaking His heart and frustrating the Holy spirit.
Following what I experienced, something of the fear of God has been created in my heart. I stagger most often and even stumble, but by His grace He keeps me to Himself. I should also point out the fact that I really weep in my heart on realizing that I continuously betray my Lord. For Judas, it was 30 pieces of silver. For me these 30 pieces of silver have been converted into money and all sorts of articles. It breaks my heart when I realize that I have betrayed the Lord Jesus for a worthless thing. But how much I long to have Him alone as my treasure. Oh Lord, satisfy the deep desire of my heart. You are the only one I want to possess.
