If you have a problem with a corpse, you must be the problem; but if the “corpse” is not totally dead, there will be a reaction. The reaction says that there is still some natural life. Dying to self is the responsibility of the big man. Have you ever seen a small man die? It is a life-time job. It is the big who die.
THE SELF-LIFE AND MARRIAGE
A girl may leave father, mother, tribe, even her own name and take the name of some man, her husband, and not abandon self. Women adapt quickly to the new names but self abides. The old name, the father’s, dies immediately after a girl marries.
The general situation is: you have the man plus his self and the woman plus her self. These four then enter into a boxing ring.
Recently in Gabon, a certain man did not attend the meetings that we held there. His wife had landed a pestle on his head. They had been married for just two years, and now the man’s head is being pounded like cocoyam. This woman had left all and installed self as her first husband. Man, woman, unless the Holy Spirit intervenes, you are only a second spouse. The first spouse is the self in your partner. If there is a choice between you and your partner’s self, you will not be chosen first.
I have seen girls pay for all the financial demands made with regard to their weddings, but when self was touched, they forgot all that they had put in for the man. Self was carried over and it bore destructive consequences. Self is the only problem for many.
Only one thing prevents many marriages from being perfect—self. For many, the problem is not money. No marriage dies because of lack of money. Many are prepared to forgive the lack of money. But they do not bear that self should be touched. When self has been touched, it rises like a cobra and strikes.
You may say, “I married the wrong wife;” are you the right man? You say, “I want my wife to change;” should it be you alone who must not change? You simply want to protect yourself.
Other issues could be enumerated, but they come up only because self has been touched. Many churches are not where they ought to be because of self. The conquest of many cities is not where it should be because of self. The interpersonal relationship between many brethren is not where it should be because of self.
SPIRITUAL MATURITY AND DEATH TO SELF
It is not possible for a man to be 100% correct and for the woman to be wrong 100%. When the man is the bigger person spiritually, God attributes 100% of the problem to the man. If the more spiritually mature person is 1% guilty and the other is 99%, the problem is the more spiritual person. This is a spiritual law.
When a country is not working, the President solely is the problem. When a school is not working, the head is to blame. The leader must take full responsibility where he has contributed to causing a problem. If he had no contribution, there would be no problem; but however small his contribution may be, he must take full responsibility.
If you have a problem with a corpse, you must be the problem; but if the “corpse” is not totally dead, there will be a reaction. The reaction says that there is still some natural life. Dying to self is the responsibility of the big man. Have you ever seen a small man die? It is a life-time job. It is the big who die.
DEATH TO SELF AND THE CAPACITY TO IMPART LIFE – 1
Jesus came down, God came down, and died completely. He breathed His last. He said “It is finished,” and died. The big man must say it is finished and die 100%.
When you die 100%, you can impart life 100%. When you can impart life 100%, even the dead will resurrect. If the husbands die 100%, there will be 100% life to impart to their wives irrespective of their (wives’) condition. Let the men go and die, and die 100%. ninety-nine percent death will not do; 99.50% death will not do. Hundred percent death will cause 100% life to flow.
When Jesus came from heaven to save us, He did not give us a part to contribute. He had all, we had nothing. He gave all, we gave nothing. We were desperate, but He kept running after us while we ran away.
For there to be salvation, Jesus had to come down, and solve the whole problem. Everything hung on His coming. It depended 100% on His coming.
DEATH TO SELF AND THE CAPACITY TO IMPART LIFE – 2
For the married, the wife may contribute zero, or even negative. If she contributes zero, it is no big deal provided the man contributes 100%. She may contribute minus 100%, but the man should contribute 100%.
Adam had to die 100% so that the rib might be taken out from him. That rib became his wife. There is a need for the men to die. If they do not die, God cannot get the ribs from them. Normally you do not operate a fully awake person.
Once in high school, I had to do a dissection on a cockroach; I pinned the living cockroach and began to dissect it. My teacher was mad at me for being that merciless to the insect.
The men do not die, yet get married. The women are also not ready to wait till the men are dead. They hurriedly want to have them as they are.
A man who dies 100% can take a woman from any degree and restore her to perfect glory. We do not ask to what level the woman has sunk. We ask, is the man dead 100%?
If there is a broken relationship somewhere, it can be mended. You must just be ready to die 100%. In negotiations, no one dies. Negotiations have as goal, the preservation of self. Someone must own up that he is 100% wrong. That he is responsible 100% and must furnish a 100% solution, the other party having nothing to contribute. When the 100% is put in, it will work. The 100% has never failed.