For there to be marriage, there must be three acts. The Lord said, “Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). So, three acts must be undertaken for there to be marriage. There must be
- leaving
- cleaving
- one flesh.
Immediately obvious here, is the fact that marriage involves parents. The word man here involves woman also. It is used in a general sense, which involves both men and women. So, it is man with woman implied.
ONE FLESH
After cleaving together, they have to become one flesh. This is done when the marriage is consummated. When the man goes into his wife, they are said to have become one flesh. The act of going into another makes the two to become one flesh. Such oneness, after some time, may lead to the conception, pregnancy and birth of a baby by the woman.
However, if a marriage is consummated before it is blessed, it is fornication. There is no marriage before a couple is blessed. They may be joined together in the traditional way; they may be joined together in court; but this does not make it a marriage before God. God considers it marriage when the saints have come together and blessed a couple. It becomes marriage when the saints have come together and joined the couple one to the other. To some brethren, when there is agreement from both parents or parties, they are free to go into the privacy of each other. This is fornication and they will be judged for it. To others, when the mayor has signed; when the court has issued a certificate, they are free to go into each other’s privacy. This too is fornication. They will be presented this sin on Judgement Day. Unless a couple be blessed after all these other signatures and ceremonies, by the saints gathered, there has been no marriage. Any sexual act or petting is considered fornication.
If after the couple has been blessed, they do not go into each other’s privacy, the marriage would not be consummated. If the marriage cannot be consummated, then there was no marriage. If, after going into the privacy of their lives for one day, one week or one month, their marriage cannot be consummated, the attention of leaders should be called. In such a case, there was no marriage. What must have been carried out in the name of a wedding, would have been ignorance.